Here is a joke
- sent in by Holly A. from Shadow Riders (7/21/07)
The Top 10 Things a Horse Thinks About
(author unknown)
10. Blowing Paper:
"At any moment it could whip up into our faces, covering our noses. We could
suffocate. ... And don't try to tell us you'd do CPR."
9. Barking Dogs:
"What? You've never read Steven King's CUJO?"
8. Puddles of Water:
"Quicksand."
7. Trash Cans:
"They've been known to swallow horses and transport them into another
dimension."
6. Babies and Li'l Kids:
"Long lost tribe of horse-eating pygmies."
5. Plaid Horse Blankets:
"Hey, when was the last time you wore plaid? It easily adds 100 lbs!"
4. Ropes and Hoses on the Ground:
"Dreaded North American Trail Snakes."
3. Ponies:
"Cute, cleaver, hardy, but anxious to take over the world."
2. Windy Days:
"Two Words: impending tornado."
... and the number one thing a horse thinks about
1. Carts and Wagons:
"Look. You put a human on our backs with a flag, we can always buck them off.
But hitching a horse to a wheeled object? It's just not right."
- sent in by Leah of Royal Rangers (4/13/07)
The Truth About Breeder Lingo
what they say...and what it really means
1. Noted Judge - He pinned my horse.
2. Respected Judge - He pinned my horse twice.
3. Shown Sparingly - Only when we had the judge in our pocket.
4. Show Prospect - Four legs, two eyes, a mane, and a tail.
5. Placed in Five Shows - and 89 others where he did nothing.
6. Won in Heavy Competition - Three horses in the maiden class.
7. Lots of Pizazz - Hasn't been out of his stall for three days.
8. Limited Showing - Owner broke.
9. Terrific Angulation - Cow hocked and sickle hocked.
10. Personality Plus - Might wake up if you stick a carrot up his nose.
11. Good Bite - Missed the judge, but got the steward.
12. Excels in Movement - When she spooks, she can pass any horse in the ring.
13. Three Good Gaits - and four or five others we can't name.
14. Handled Exclusively By - no one else can get near him.
15. At Stud to Approved Mares - Those in season.
16. Terrific Pedigree - Old champion Whatsisname is twice in the fifth generation.
17. Good Broodmare - Don't dare try to show in the ring.
18. Lots of Drive - Untrainable.
- sent in by Brenna of T6: (2/17/07)
Q. What did the waiter say to the horse when the horse got hot coffee splashed on his face? (Ew!)
A. That looks like it's blazing hot!!
- sent in by Robin of Trailblazers: (1/4/07)
Q. What did the mare say to the salesman when he tried to sell her 2 pairs of socks?
A. Sorry! I'm a two socks chick!!
- sent in by Meghan of Vaquaros: (12/15/06)
Q. A man rode to town on Friday, stayed for 3 days and let on Friday. How?
A. His horse's name was Friday.
- sent in by Leia of Alumni 2000: (5/21/06)
Q. What did Paul Revere say at e end of his ride?
A. Whoa!
- sent in
by Leah of Nighthorse Rangers: (5/2/06)
My horse is very polite.
Whenever we come to a jump he stops and lets me go first!
- sent in by Robin of T2: (3/24/06)
Q. Who lives right next door to a horse?
A. The Neigh-bor.
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